Hello {{first_name}},

You can learn to trust yourself

On my morning walk today, I had a host of different threads of conversations I've had recently with lawyers, running through my mind. A common theme was starting to emerge, so I'll do my best to distil it here. (Caveat: I am not best known for my distilling ability. Sometimes I need to wander around a topic until its essence becomes clear.)

By the way this is where I was wandering - how awesome is the misty sunlight? It was 12 degrees, pretty chilly!

The theme is that in the legal profession we are programmed towards having an external locus of control. This starts in law school. Apparently they still do that thing where they say "look around the room and know that only half of you are going to make it" or some such demoralising activity. I'm trying to think of all the ways I experienced this nudging towards an external locus of control in law school and am tempted to go pull out Professor Susan Daicoff's book Lawyer Know Thyself - as there is extensive research about this topic in there. But then this would turn into an essay...

external locus of control

"A person with an external locus of control is someone who believes that there is a powerful force that affects their choices and future. These people often find themselves demotivated, as they feel as if their actions do not influence the outcome of their lives. For this reason, they tend to be less successful than those with an internal locus of control."

internal locus of control: people who believe that their fate lies in their own hands.

My experience of law school was definitely that the actions of others, environmental factors and chance were playing the greatest role in determining my future. I felt a constant search to meet approval, to match up, to be good enough - and always by other people's standards. In final year it was all about getting a good placement at a good firm, and then once doing articles, I think you constantly feel "not good enough" (it's supposed to make you work harder - I think it just made me become filled with self doubt!). You're kind of a slave to the system of performance reviews (many of which are BRUTAL in large firms - but sharing horror stories of my friends' performance reviews I shall have to save for another day.) If you're kept on, then you continue the route of seeking someone's blessing that you're good enough to make associate, then senior associate, then partner then maybe equity partner.

Not everyone goes this route, but even if you take a completely different route, my 1000's of hours talking to lawyers shows me certain commonalities:

• working in environments that are fear based
• a subtle fear of waiting to be found out (if you drop the ball on some client, or issue or quote something wrong, even a minor slip up lawyers consider deadly)
• self-worth based on how much you're billing - your value to the firm is tied to what you bring in, so it's difficult not to measure yourself in the same way
• a sense you need to have answers for everyone
• everything you do is subject to someone else's approval, or sign off- whether within the firm, or in a court setting

So it makes sense that lawyers in these environments would feel that their fate depends on external circumstances. The problem is that it makes people very unhappy, and disempowered when they have an external locus of control.

One lawyer shares

Looking at my notes speaking to some amazing soul-led lawyers recently, I want to share what one lawyer said

"I always had a strong relationship with the universe. Though I abandoned it many times for less healthy coping mechanisms along the way. I always knew I wanted to help people connect with their core selves. I wanted to help women and children...when I started law. Didn’t end up there.. I was at a big firm and I moved further and further away from myself each year, and the greater my anxiety got. The further you move from your light, the harder it gets, the darker it gets."

For Awakening Lawyers there comes a turning point, it is the point at which they take back their own power. For many this was after enormous losses. The loss of jobs, of marriages, of children, of their own sanity. It is remarkable to me how much the Awakening Lawyers I talk with have lost. Is this a perception created perhaps only because they talk about their losses?

I should quickly add that there are lawyers following a traditional path who don't have an external locus of control, who have had a background which allows them to be secure in their knowing. (Obviously familial programming plays a great role in determining your locus of control, so I'm not laying all the blame at law school doors!) These lawyers can be quite arrogant, they know they're smart and they work out how to make themselves indispensable to firms, but also know at a certain rank, they can pick where they work.

I am referring to a different form of power that Awakening Lawyers develop.

In eastern terms they refer to 3 qualities:

Tamas - apathy - "life happens to me" - 90% of the world is at this level

Rajas - "I can do it!" I can harness my own strength and manipulate things to my desires. This is the capitalist mindset.

Sattva - "Thy will be done" - I will let God work through me. I take action, but I am Divinely guided. There is a bigger picture.

Awakening Lawyers shift towards this 3rd attribute or quality where they no longer feel at the mercy of their environments but neither do they believe they alone are responsible for all successes.

It has taken me a long, long time to step into my own power. I think some of it only comes with age. I have more wrinkles now, and greying hair (that I cover for now...) but the pay off is huge: I trust myself. I like myself. I believe in my own powers of creation and love feeling aligned with the Universe working through me. It makes life much easier! I am flowing with the current. I'm not adrift, subject to the whims of others determining my worth.

To wrap this up...

Another Candidate Attorney at a big firm reached out to me today, saying she feels so disempowered and asking "is there another way?"

Yes, there is. And me and the growing community of Awakening Lawyers will help you find it.

Please feel free to share any thoughts on your locus of control with me!

I am a legal futurist, a lawyer coach and a channel.
I love working with lawyers at all stages of their awakening journey, especially those who are starting to see a new role for themselves as peacemakers, as justice warriors and as activists for social change. I work with my clients to deal with the challenges they face working within a restrictive and often conservative legal culture that promotes hiding your authentic self under a professional mask and suppressing both your own and your client’s emotions.

l look forward to hearing from you if it feels right. Always go by HOW YOU FEEL. If this feels exciting - reach out to me.

xxx